A World of "Broken" Men

Over the last couple of months the Vatican has been in the news rather negatively over charges of improper sexual behaviour by some of its priests, albeit which occurred some many many years ago. According to a New York Times article entiltled "Transfer cleared by Pope, Priest molested again" (Kulish and Benhold, 2010/03/26)the story involves a priest named Father Hullerman who in September 1979 was removed from his congregation after three sets of parents reported to his superior that he had molested their sons.

The main issue this past week is that the present Pope who at the time was the Cardinal in Munich, knew of this priest's particular "weakness" and had approved sending him to therapy to overcome pedophilia, but did not object to him (Hullerman) being returned to pastoral work within days of actually beginning psychiatric treatment.

My issue is not with the Pope (then Cardinal), he may not have seen the memo that was copied to him telling him that Father Hullerman was being returned to Pastoral work. He may have been too busy with numerous other cases and the usually high political climate of the Catholic Church. It may just have been an oversight on his part and on the part of all his 'assistants' who worked with him.

Needless to say, Father Hullerman returned to pastoral duties and was later convicted of molesting boys in another parish. This is SAD!. This is so so SAD! Sad that today there are so many molested men out there,so many broken men, who were not vindicated, who did not get a chance to heal, always having to deal with this 'dark' experience. No doubt some have become pedophiles themselves, some struggle with living as 'normal hetrosexuals' and some more than likely are on the 'down low' confused about their sexuality.

It is interesting to note that, according to Kulish and Bennhold's NYT article, in a letter to superiors written by a Father Melangre dated January 3,1980, it was suggested that Father Hullerman could "teach religion at a girls' school". To this I have many questions. Would this act of putting him at a girls' school cause Father Hullerman to manage his sexual urges better? Would it have healed him? Was it the case that the priest had a general sexual orientation towards under aged boys in particular or would it have extended to under aged girls had he been put to teach Religion at a girls school? What did the sessions with the psychiatrist prove? Did any of his superiors bother to follow up on the level of wellness of his psychological state? The sad part is, he was allowed to resume pastoral duties and got the chance to abuse more and more boys in his continued destructive service as a priest in the Catholic Church.

In another related story found on msnbc.com, entitled "Deaf boys tried to tell of Priest's abuse for years", the Vatican is also having to deal with the exposure that over a thirty year period a Rev. Lawrence C. Murphy molested deaf boys ( a total of about 200) at St John's school for the deaf in Milwaukee, USA. Although the boys were deaf, they chose not to remain silent. They told other priests, they told three archbishops of Milwaukee, they told the police but their reports fell on deaf ears.

The issue now is that in 1996, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now the Pope), received letters about Father Murphy's behaviour and that the deaf community needed "a healing response from the church" For whatever reasons, we are not aware, this case was pushed under the Vatican's plush carpet, like many other such cases, shrouded in secrecy, hushed up, and in 1998 Father Murphy died an honourable priest.

Once aagin, I am not blaming the Cardinal (now Pope), maybe it was the nature of the Catholic Church to deal with these matters secretly or not to deal with them at all. But now we can see why psychiatrists and psychologists will always have jobs because in the cases at hand, two priests were allowed to repeatedly sexually abuse so many boys. No doubt, over the years, these abuses have manifested in unhappy marriages, multiple sexual partners, continued chain linked pedophilia, messed up relationships between fathers and sons, and fathers and daughters, and the list goes on and on and on.

The question is to be asked: Would some of these problems be lessened if the Vatican had acted decisively and honourably as soon as they were made aware of the issues and finally would we have less "broken" men in our world today?

"Love Conquers All" vs. "Love is not Enough"

In the love conquers all scenario, I believe that if both persons love each other intensely and selflessly they will get through the adverse situations. They will find the necessary loopholes to overcome the difficulties that will arise. The combination and the strength of their love will indeed allow them to conquer all. But that's usually not the case.

In the love is not enough situation, the lack usually shows up when the love for each other is not strong enough, maybe on the part of one partner (for whatever reason), not true enough, or not genuine enough. Usually, there are ultererior motives in the "love" relationship. Sometimes there is self over the relationship, and it is in those times that love turns out seemingly to not be enough.

But love is enough and it does conquer all! Who would believe this?

MY HIDING PLACE

I happen to love to read. I love it because it takes me away from my own reality and place me in the midst of other people's lives. It takes me to places I have never been, might never go. It allows me to understand situations that I have never been in.

Reading allows me to sympathise with other people's pain, be happy for proven strength, character and accomplishments when a person moves from nothing to something. A good book usually allows me to not be affected by what is going on around me, because I am usually so entrenched in the story. A good book gives me something to look forward to going home to when I am at work under pressure. Reading is my number one HIDING PLACE.

DENTING THE RATE OF SINGLENESS

Am I hearing right? Roman Catholic priests have been giving some thought to relaxing the rules of celibacy? From what I understand, that is one side of the discussion. The other side is that some of the priests do not have a clear idea that the issue of celibacy and its proposed "relaxation" has nothing to do with other issues such as sexual abuse, pedophilia and buggery (charges and scandals which have been rocking the Catholic Church in Europe over the last few months). Those are different issues in and of themselves.

Let us imagine that the Vatican agrees to "relax" the rules of celibacy and allow priests to have a little sex every now and then, what would be the defining rules surrounding this "relaxation"? Would it be defined by guidelines such as:

• Priests are only to have sex when the urge is unbearable (in this case, how would unbearable be quantified and justified) and,
• Priests are only to have sex with consulting adults (the choice of male or female is up to the individual's priest's sexual orientation)

Can't think of anymore right now but could this discussion eventually lead to priests being allowed to marry? That would certainly increase the number of men available for marriage and put a dent into the high rate of single women's existence.